When I was younger, I remember reading stories online about kids coming out to their parents as diaper lovers and being accepted. In some, the parents even bought diapers for their diaper-loving child. At the time I first read them, I wanted such a thing to happen to me. If only I were brave enough to tell my parents I wanted to go back to diapers.
I’m sure most of the stories I read were made up, but their events aren’t completely unbelievable. So, thinking back on them now makes me wonder: Would I actually have been able to handle going diapered at an early age? I’ll use my imagination to try to find out.
For the sake of this thought exercise, I’ll imagine I went back to diapers in middle school. Fifth or sixth grade was when I realized non-baby diapers were a thing (and that I wasn’t the only one they appealed to), so this makes sense. Also, I’ll imagine my parents bought my diapers, since I probably would have only been able to afford the occasional pack of diapers back then.
So, in this situation, would I have been able to handle diapers? Let’s see. . . .
On one hand, maybe my mom would have remembered good diaper features from when I was a baby and worked tirelessly with me using that information and my feedback to find a diaper that worked well for me. On the other hand, maybe she would have given me some bad drugstore diapers, said that was all she could do, and completely stopped buying diapers if I had problems with them.
On a third hand, I was so good at doing research online as a kid that maybe I would have done all the heavy lifting in figuring out what diaper my mom would buy. On a fourth hand, maybe she would have gotten me Goodnites. Those are so good, even when I wear them now, that I think maybe I could have managed with them until I grew out of them and could pick out something else on my own.
On one hand, I’m doubtful my middle school self would have mastered the tricks needed to go undetected in a diaper, which I’m still not perfect at now, after all my experience. Concealment tricks, as I’m thinking of them here, include not just hiding a diaper from sight, but also: hiding a diaper’s noise, hiding a diaper’s smell, hiding when you’re “going,” changing fast enough after pooping to avoid smell detection, preventing leaks, hiding any leaks that happen, and more. If I messed up in any area of concealment, which would be super easy to do at first, everyone would know I wore diapers. I already had problems finding friends and having meaningful relationships with people my age at that time, so diapers might have meant the end of any chance I had. That could have seriously messed me up psychologically.
On the other hand, I was a quick learner. Also, if I wore Goodnites or something better, the diapers would have done most of the concealment work for me. Plus, maybe the same people who saw past my awkwardness and such would have seen past my diapers.
There’s a good chance one diaper would have lasted me a whole school day. I didn’t pee too many times during school, and I rarely pooped at school.
What if I did poop in my diaper at school, though? I would need to change quickly. Perhaps my parents would have arranged something with the nurse to let me change in her office or be changed by her when I pooped. There wouldn’t have been anything fun in it, especially because I would miss some class, but it would have been discreet. Maybe, though, I would just ask to go to the bathroom and change in a stall. It wouldn’t have been as discreet, but I think I would have been good and fast enough at changing that changing would only take about as much time as if I went to the bathroom to poop. Maybe I would even ask to go to the bathroom, poop myself on the way there, and then change. No one in my class would smell any poop in that case.
Most of the considerations I’ve made so far, especially in the last two categories, have been about school. But how might I have fared with diapers at home?
Thinking positively, maybe I would have made them a background detail about me. My parents would buy the diapers and I would wear, change, and dispose of them with a good amount of discretion. Most days, I would put a new diaper on every morning, change after school, change again around bedtime, and so on.
Thinking negatively, maybe I would have made a big deal of the diapers at home or maybe my mom would have. In that case, somebody would be bothered and problems related to diapers–perhaps even the loss of diapers–would ensue. Diapers causing problems is a nightmare for me, but I may have not been able to figure out how to avoid it back then. Also, maybe my diaper use would have negatively impacted my sister or my relationship with her in some way. She’s one of the main reasons I’m hesitant to reveal my diaper use to my family even now.
I’m not really sure whether I could have handled going diapered in middle school. In the end, though, I don’t have any problems with the fact that I started going diapered when I did. Also, for various reasons, I highly doubt my family would have understood or accepted my desire for diapers at that time. However, this thought exercise has been fun and enlightening anyway. I hope you feel the same way.
How do you think you might have handled it if you were allowed back in diapers full-time when you were a kid, like at the point you realized you wanted diapers? Should I do another post discussing how I might have done diapered 24/7 in high school? Such a situation would have presented some different opportunities and challenges than the middle school situation discussed above. Please leave me a comment to let me know your thoughts!