My Diaper Aspirations and Habits (A Recent History)

My diaper use has fluctuated over the years, for various reasons, but I don’t think I’ve ever changed my goal. My overall aspiration has always been to be diapered all the time (with no gaps except the necessary ones). To use the common term, I’ve wanted to be 24/7.

On multiple occasions, for various lengths of time, I’ve been roughly 24/7. There were persistently two main reasons I wasn’t fully 24/7. One of the reasons was external and one was internal. The external reason was my need to balance wearing as much as possible with being secretive. The internal reason was my often-low commitment to wearing to bed.

As mentioned in my previous post, I recently explained my diaper lover identity to my mom and gained my parents’ acceptance for this part of me. This removed my need to limit my diaper use in order to maintain secrecy. During my initial period of elation about my newfound freedom, I took to wearing diapers at all times. I felt that since I finally could do it, I should. Part of my approach was actually to force myself to wear even when I didn’t feel like it.

Eventually, due to my emotions leveling out more and due to exhaustion and stress from work, I drifted back toward my previous ‘roughly 24/7’ lifestyle. This lifestyle included a habit that I’m ashamed of. It was a habit that I wasn’t happy with when I was doing it, and I wish it had never become a habit.

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Changes

If there is any lesson we might learn from diapers, I think it is that changes are inevitable. Those of us who wear diapers are well aware that you must change them sooner or later. It is somewhat under your control, but somewhat not. It is really only a question of when—and your bodily functions usually solve that equation for you. If you refuse to change when you know you should, the results are unpleasant.

Sometimes you change when you don’t need to, though. Sometimes your diaper is only halfway full, but you change anyway for one reason or another. On the other hand, sometimes you hold off on changing for as long as possible. Until the last second before you leak. Sometimes you wish you could go longer without a change, but you just can’t. You’ve started to get uncomfortable even despite your enjoyment. Sometimes you regret changing, but there’s not much you can do about it at that point. You just have to move on. Maybe you can make a better choice this time.

Sometimes, though, changes are wonderful. They are long anticipated. They are welcome. They are satisfying. They are new beginnings. They are fresh starts. They make you more comfortable. They make you happier.

Since the last time I posted on this blog, there have been some changes in my life. Diaper changes, yes, but not just diaper changes. Really big life changes as well.

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My Origin Story

Now that I have a superhero-esque illustration representing me online, I think it’s only natural for me to finally share my origin story. By that, I mean the story of how I first became a diaper lover.

I’ve been a diaper lover for a long time, so I’m not 100% certain of when I became one. Perhaps I’ve been a diaper lover for my entire life. I do have very early memories of being fascinated with peeing and pooping, and this seems significant. My mom has also told me that one of my favorite VHS tapes to watch when I was a baby was a tape about how to potty train a child.

While being fascinated with bodily release functions is—in my opinion—at least a precursor to my love of diapers, I don’t think I was actually a diaper lover until I was a bit older. I think the first time I specifically wanted to wear diapers was whenever I was in first grade. This is just a theory, but I have enough anecdotal evidence that I believe it.

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How I’ve Chosen Clothes with Diapers in Mind

Admittedly, I don’t get new clothes very often. However, I did select a good deal of my wardrobe with the intention of being able to comfortably and discreetly wear diapers underneath my clothes. So, how did I go about this?

Well, as I’ve written about before, I was hooked on diapers as soon as I tried my first pack, which was right around my 17th birthday. It wasn’t too long after that when the time to get some new pants came along. Since I’m quite tall and thin, I wasn’t able to find satisfactory pants in stores. The ones that fit my waist were too short, and the ones that were long enough were too big in the waist.

I’m pretty sure it was my mom who suggested for me to look online for pants. With that advice, I checked out Amazon, and they had some pants in my size. I’m not sure if I was always thinking about diapers while looking for my new pants, but I know I thought about diapers when choosing from the ones on Amazon. The first diaper-related decision I made was to get pleated pants. If I remember correctly, I had seen one of my professors wearing pleated pants at the college where I was dual-enrolled, and I thought that the pleating would help to conceal the shape of a diaper if I was wearing one.

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Introducing My Avatar

AB/DL artist Mostly Odourless (@Mostlyodourless on Twitter) designed the fantastic artwork you see below. I’m proud to introduce this character as my official avatar. I may be all about words, but this image shows who I am without a single one. It will be synonymous with my Diaper Demigod name going forward.

If you are interested in the AB/DL art commissioning process, I will soon be posting a detailed walk-through of my experience.

I Have So Many Diapers!

One of the last posts I wrote before my long blogging hiatus was about how I was running low on diapers. Well, I’m happy to report that I currently have a ton of diapers! This has nothing to do with my 2018 shortage, of course, but I figured my diaper inventory would be a good topic to update you all about.

I’m sure some readers have picked up hints that I have lots of diapers, since I have written about and posted pictures of some of the different kinds of diapers I have. Even if you gathered that I had a decent variety, though, you probably didn’t guess how many I have. I have exactly 239 diapers! Here is the breakdown:

I have . . .

  • 56 Tena Slip Active Fit Maxis
  • 27 NorthShore MEGAMAXes
  • 155 Prevail Air Overnights
  • 1 InControl Fitted Nighttime Cloth Diaper

In case you didn’t notice, all of these diapers are kinds that I’ve never reviewed on this blog. That’s because I never got my hands on them until recently.

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“Diaper Pride Flag” Update

As many of you probably know, I put up a blog post about a week ago entitled “My Diaper Pride Flag.” In that post, I showcased multiple versions of this “pride flag” and explained why I designed it the way I did.

After my post here, I shared my design on Reddit (on r/ABDL, to be specific). Side note: I mentioned my Reddit presence in my previous post about the XL Goodnites, but I don’t think I have mentioned it before. Truth be told, I believe I started my Reddit account in order to promote this blog on r/ABDL when I first started it. I think I had only ever browsed r/ABDL before then. After my post announcing this blog, I have mostly just been a browser/lurker. I have at times been very active in browsing the page, but I have rarely had the inclination to post or comment. (The reasons why are perhaps the subject for another post.)

Anyway, back to the main story. Here on my blog, I only got one comment about the flag, and it was positive. This comment actually came in after I had already gotten a lot of feedback on Reddit. Well, I say a lot, but all I mean is that it was a lot to me. Anyway, most of the feedback I got on Reddit at first was negative or critical, but I did get more positive feedback as time went on. (View the post and comments with this link.)

After having mulled over the feedback for about a week, I would like to indirectly respond to some of the criticism and then directly respond to a particular criticism. To begin with, I want to clarify my intentions in creating my design. I was not trying to take it upon myself to bestow a symbol upon AB/DLs or the larger diaper wearing community. Nor was I trying to replace any of the symbols that had previously been accepted (to one degree or another) by the AB/DL community. I was simply introducing a new symbol that I thought did a good job of representing most diaper wearers.

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XL Goodnites: First Impressions

In the latter part of January, I think on the 22nd, I came across a Reddit post (on r/ABDL) where someone was announcing that their free sample of the new XL Goodnites had arrived. I’m not usually super active on Reddit, so this was the first time I heard that Goodnites was coming out with a new size (or, more accurately, splitting the L/XL size into two sizes, L and XL).

I went over to the announcement page Goodnites had put up online and I guess I was feeling bold that day because I pretty much immediately ordered myself a free sample. I guess part of the reason I was bold enough to do this was because, while I still live with my parents, I now have a secret PO box.

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